Top 10 of 2010 (pt. 1)

So, last year I did a "Top 3 of 2009"- you can read that post here. This year, I'm doing a top 10 of 2010! This is a list of my favorite books/authors, movies, music, and whatever else that I discovered in 2010 that I deem amazing. The list is in no particular order- they're just the 10 best :) I'm publishing part one today, and I'll publish part two some time in the next few days (it was a little long to have all in one post). I've also added links to websites that will give you more info on these things.

Hope you enjoy it!

1. Donald Miller. Easily the best discovery I made in 2010. I've been told for years that I would like him, but I stubbornly avoided reading his books. Initially, I wasn't sure I liked his writing style- it almost feels like he's just sitting across the table from me in a coffee shop conversing about any and everything. His writing has a very journal-like quality to it that I wasn't used to. However, when his newest book Father Fiction came out, I was finally convinced I needed to give him a shot. Although my dad is the best dad I could ask for, there was still so much in this book that spoke to my heart and gave me greater understanding about what it's like for those growing up fatherless. (Truth be told, after reading it, I developed a bit of a crush on Don :) As a teacher, Father Fiction gave me a better grasp of what my students go through daily living without a dad. As a friend, it helped me understand my friends who battled through all those difficult and awkward growing-up experiences without a dad as a guide and guardian. After reading Father Fiction, I devoured Blue Like Jazz (his most famous writing, which is now being made into a movie), then A Million Miles in A Thousand Years, and I've been reading his blog religiously. The thing I love most about him is that he's remarkably intelligent and yet is still very down to earth- it's a fabulous combination. I desperately want to attend one of his writing conferences, but they're a little out of a teacher's budget- anyone feel like sponsoring me? :)

2. Skinny Pants. Seriously! These things really were an amazing discovery for me. I never really thought I could wear them because I've got curves and thought only girls that were just under 6 feet tall and right at 100 pounds could pull them off, but due to the coldness of this past winter, I bought them out of desperation. Originally, I was just wearing them during cold months, tucked inside of boots. However, I have branched out to other skinny pants- and now the vast majority of my pants are the skinny variety. They are extremely comfortable, keep their shape better than any other jeans I have, and make me feel skinny (which I didn't think was going to happen in such close-fitting jeans). I will point out that I'm talking about skinny jeans, NOT jeggings (a.k.a. denim leggings)! I'm not as big a fan of the jegging- they're basically denim tights and I don't really think girls should wear them unless their B.M.I. is 0.2%...which is not the case for me. The main thing I would recommend when trying skinny pants is getting ones that fit close, but don't fit tight around the lower calf/ankle area. I would also not recommend wearing the skinny style jeans if you are more of a pear shape. But, if you're fairly proportional- give them a shot, regardless of your size. You may be pleasantly surprised! Old Navy is having a huge sale on their jeans Dec. 26th & 27th. A great opportunity to try out skinny jeans for just $15! (P.S. Guys, I really don't have a problem with ya'll trying out skinny jeans too, but if you are wearing either jeggings or women's jeans please be prepared for pointing and laughing.)

3. Rick Riordan. Many of you are aware of my love for children's literature. This writer is one of my new favorites! I started off reading his Percy Jackson and the Olympians series, and I ended up reading every single book Rick Riordan has written. He has a writing style that is sort of a male counterpart to J.K. Rowling. I like the adventurous elements of his books, as well as his excellent character development, and the historical aspects of his books. His books are all based around ancient mythology, so it's been very educational reading! He has a new series called the Kane Chronicles, which is based around Egyptian mythology, and another series called The Heroes of Olympus, which melds Roman and Greek mythology- it also has many of the characters found in the Percy Jackson series. By the way, don't check out the Percy Jackson and the Lightening Thief movie- it's nothing like the book and very poorly done, in my opinion.

4. The Sing Off. I absolutely LOVE this series. It came out in 2009 right before Christmas and my parents and I spent an entire night watching the dvr-ed series! Nota totally deserved the win, by the way. This year it was even better! I love that this is a short series (just 5 episodes), and it's about real vocal performers. You're not forced to sit through painfully awkward audition episodes. If they're on the show, it's because they are very gifted artists. That makes it so much more fun to watch. However, Nicole Sherzinger, who is one of the judges, more than makes up for all the missing audition awkwardness. Every time she spoke I found myself averting my eyes and needing something to do with my hands... The other two judges, Ben Folds and Shawn Stockman (of Boyz 2 Men fame), are fantastic. They are very professional, know what they're talking about, and are not at all Simon Cowell-like when talking to the contestants. I was a huge fan of Street Corner Symphony this year (I was a little "cray-cray" about them, according to my mother). If you missed the series, you should definitely get caught up on hulu.

5. Jon Acuff. My pastor started talking about this hilarious book he'd been reading called Stuff Christians Like. After he spoke about it, one of my best friends began reading this book and constantly told me to "read this stinking book immediately!" One night she started reading some of the book out loud and I started laughing so hard I was crying. After that, I borrowed the book from her and found myself pulling it out and reading excerpts to any and everyone who would listen. He also has a blog by the same name (actually the blog came before the book), which I now read daily. It's really his observations on the silliness of Christians and how we really do have weird habits/traditions/quirks that are always true everywhere you go. My favorites are: Understanding how Metrosexual Your Worship Leader is (a handy guide); Surviving Church as a Single; Leg Dropping Elves (or the Real Meaning of Christmas); and The Jesus Juke

But just in case you were thinking he's all silly and no serious, you are very wrong. In fact, he started writing a series of more serious posts called "Serious Wednesdays" (obviously, these are published every Wednesday). The last 3 Serious Wednesday posts have made me cry- because of the insight and truth I've encountered in them. My recent favorite is The "R" Word. I read it at work, which actually turned out to be a bad idea because I was bawling at my desk when my students came back from P.E... But you should definitely check him out- again, you won't be sorry!

Okay folks, that's all for today! Stay tuned for part two! :)

2010

2010. Possibly one of the most joy-filled and pain-filled years of my life. So much has changed- and yet none of those changes are particularly obvious to anyone but me. It has been a year of immense growth. A painful stretching of myself and my understanding of God. So what's different? What have I learned?

God doesn't change. I know that this is not a new concept- it's something that I've always known about God. But this year, more than any other in my life, has been one that has made me appreciate His constancy. The idea of Him being my Rock and my Fortress has never been so real, or so desperately needed as it has been this year. He stays the same. His love doesn't change. His goodness does not waver. For me, this year has been up and down, back and forth, high and low...and I have found myself clinging to His solid foundation.

I am dearly loved. By a God who allowed His son to be tortured for my rescue, by a family that cheers for me, by friends who would do anything for me. I know that this love has always been present, but when I was drowning in my circumstances- this love was the life-boat I needed to get through each moment. Thank you, dear ones, for your constant love. I have needed it more desperately this year than any other I have experienced.

Despite my many (many) faults, flaws, and failures, God has a plan for me. I'm not going to lie, this one is still very difficult for me to swallow. But it's the truth whether my heart believes it or not- and I tell myself that truth as much as possible so that hopefully, one day soon, I will be able to live daily in the joy and victory I've been given.

So, why am I telling you all of this? Maybe, through my story, you can find a little hope in your hard circumstances too. The truths that I have discovered this year are just as true for you- God is the only constant in life, you are dearly loved (maybe it doesn't feel like it- but you are), and our Father has a great plan for you.

Summer Musings...

So, being that I have immense amounts of free time right now, I have plenty of time to ponder life's great questions. Not that I'm doing that- but I have time to if I want to! Anyway, here are some random things that I have discovered about myself this summer...

• Donald Miller is my new favorite author. Seriously, why didn't I listen to all of those people who told me I would love him (sorry mom!)? So far I've read Father Fiction (amazing) and Blue Like Jazz (I laughed, I cried...I laughed again). I have no idea why I never read anything by him before. He's funny, honest, and really wants to live a life that honors God. And what I really like about him is rather than telling other people how they can get it together, he brings us along on his journey as he attempts to get it together. I've decided that if we lived on the same side of the country, and we had a means of meeting, we would definitely be friends.
• After watching endless episodes of Ace of Cakes, I have decided I need to: learn to be a cake decorator, move to Baltimore, work at Charm City Cakes, be best friends with Mary Alice, and marry Geof (he's such a cutie! A dead pan, dry-humor kind of cute).
• I love having time to have full and complete conversations with God any time of day. Usually at work I start talking to God about something, and then get distracted. When I get home from work I can't even put a complete sentence together, and I find I have the same problem at 5:30am- the time I usually wake up. I love being able to stop wherever I am, whatever I'm doing, and talk to God about concerns or discover things He's been trying to tell me for awhile.
• I really, really, really want a dog. It's bad. And this is a problem because I don't have the money for one at all. I also want a bigger dog, which isn't exactly conducive to apartment living. Oh well, maybe one day...
• I am a blessed girl. I have a Father in Heaven who loves me, and who pushes me to reach my potential and use my gifts for His glory. I have been blessed with amazing friends and family who love the Lord and teach me about Him every day. I have a comfortable and beautiful home- with working air conditioning!
• I am again reminded that to whom much is given much is expected. I don't know exactly how that will look in my life in the future- but I definitely feel the Lord prodding me towards bigger and better things. And I am excited about the future.

I know this post is rather uninteresting, but that's all I can come up with now... All in all, summer is my favorite time of year. Warm weather, getting to sleep in, spending time with friends and loved ones, reading to my hearts content, these are a few of my favorite things... I will love it while I can, because the school year will be upon me before I can blink!

What I Won't Do

Just in case you didn't know, I'm single. Meaning, not only am I not married, I'm not in a relationship at all. Now, this is not by choice. I didn't just wake up one day and say "being single works for me!". I want a relationship. I want to get married, maybe have a couple of kids, and celebrate Mother's Day as a mom and not just a daughter. However, as much as I want that, there is one thing that I just won't do. Compromise. I guess I really should say I will not compromise again. There was a time in my life where I definitely compromised my convictions just to stay in the wrong relationship- and I managed to ostracize a lot of people in the process. And the sad thing was, I always knew it was the wrong relationship- even in the best of times when all seemed peaceful. Satan really had me for awhile. He had me thinking that I couldn't live without this person. But God was just waiting to show me the abundant life I would have once I got rid of that person. I was never comfortable in the relationship because I knew God wasn't pleased with my choices, or the relationship as a whole. I am so thankful for that discomfort. As much as I hated it, I know now that that was God not giving up on me. Eventually, through the grace of the Father, I walked away from that relationship- and although it was possibly the most difficult and painful decision of my life, I am confident that it was the best decision I could have made. So, what have I learned from that? Here are a few things I took away:

• The right man will never, ever, lead you to compromise on your convictions. God's not going to lead you to someone who leads you into sin. That doesn't mean that there won't be struggles in the relationship- especially struggles for purity. But it does mean that he will care enough about his relationship with you and respect your convictions enough to not lead you down a sinful path.
• The right man will love Jesus and talk about that relationship more than he talks about any other. If he doesn't love Jesus, then my ability to respect him will be diminished, and therefore he is the wrong person for me. No one wants to be in a relationship where respect is not mutually and equally given.
• The right man will not allow his decision-making to be ruled by emotions. Emotions are tricky things- and sometimes those emotions can lead us to say and do things we will later regret. If I'm in a relationship with a guy and I see that he is making all of his decisions based on how he feels at the moment- I know that he has a long way to go in the area of emotional maturity. I need to be willing to walk away and let God do His work on that guy before I get in the picture- because me standing there waiting on him will not speed up the process. It will slow it down.
• I can not be the spiritual trend-setter. If he's not in love with Jesus, he's not going to take leadership in that relationship. It doesn't sound like that big of a deal- but what about when kids are in the picture and your moral standards don't match up? Or when you want to take the kids to church and their response is "but dad doesn't go"? Or when one of the kids is really sick and in the hospital- and the only one praying about it is you? It's a lonely and scary place to be, and I don't ever want to be the one setting the spiritual tone again.

Often I get overwhelmed and/or depressed because I know that guys of that caliber don't just grow on trees. Often I wonder if there are any left on the planet... But, I also know that God has plans for me. It's written in His word, and He promises to not forsake me. He's not going to see me in Heaven and say "crap, I forgot about that guy I was supposed to make for you!". If God has marriage for me, He has the right one for me. I don't ever want to feel like I'm settling for second-best because He promised me a life of abundance... not sloppy seconds. And although in the face of turning 30 and still being single it's hard for me to believe He hasn't forgotten me I must believe in His promises- He does have a pretty good record of keeping His promises so far.

Why Am I Here?

Have you ever wondered "why am I here"? I do. Kind of a lot. I can actually get really frustrated with the (relative) simplicity of my life. I mean, not that I don't have issues and problems and drama, but in general, my life is pretty simple. I mean, I'm not married, I don't have kids, I don't have some glamorous job that takes me around the world, and I'm not really a drama queen so things stay pretty calm around me... I'm just a regular person. I often wonder how God uses me where I am- or even if He uses me. Like, am I really some necessary part of the Creator God's big picture? Even in the ministries I'm involved with, I'm generally a behind-the-scenes kinda girl. I can easily become very disenchanted with my life. I feel like it might not be exciting enough, or earth-shaking enough. We aren't all born to be Beth Moores or Francis Chans or Perry Nobles. So what in the world am I doing here??

Today, however, I got a new perspective. Today I read Zac's blog. To give you a little background on Zac, he works at NewSpring Church (my church), is probably a little older than me (maybe mid-thirties), and cancer is eating him alive. He is dying a very slow, very painful death. He has a beautiful wife and adorable children that he will not live to see grow up. Despite the pain of this situation, he (and his wife) looks for ways to glorify our God in this suffering. The first I heard of Zac's situation was from this video, played at NewSpring early this year. It absolutely broke my heart, and I will never forget it. What courage and strength it must have taken for him to talk so candidly about losing his battle with cancer. Not only to talk about it, but to choose to use his suffering to give glory to our Father. I don't know that I would have the strength to do that if I was in his situation...

Then today, I came across his blog. He wrote three blog posts early this month on the topic of navigating through suffering. One of the frustrations that he has dealt with through all of this is the question "why am I still here"? He's in massive amounts of pain. He has planned for his family's provision after his death. He is so ready to be with our Father in Heaven. So why is he still here suffering? His answer is simple- move forward in what God has called for him to do here, until He calls him home.

So, what does this have to do with me? In those moments where I wonder if I'm making any difference, if my life truly does have impact, I remember that if it didn't- it would be because I'm Home with my Father. As long as I'm here, He's using me. As Zac said in his blog, it's a simple shift in focus from "what should I be doing?" to "where does God have me?". I'm here because God placed me here- right where I am. I am called to move forward. To continue. And to trust what Philippians 1:6 says: There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears. He has promised to complete this work in me. And He's never broken a promise before.

Whitewashed Graves

So, I'm reading through Matthew right now (pathetically, I made the plan to read through the entire New Testament at the beginning of the year, and I am currently about to finish Matthew...), and I've been struck by Jesus' attitude towards the Pharisees. If Jesus is the hero of the story (and He is), than the Pharisees are the evil characters. In fact, my pastor said just this past Sunday that anytime the NT says "and then the Pharisees said...", it should always be followed by an ominous "Dun-dun-DUHHH...." Jesus generally had some very harsh things to say to them. This was particularly the case in Matthew 23, where He really let them have it. As I read it, though, it struck me that the Pharisees most likely sincerely thought their way was the right way. Now, they were sincerely wrong, but they didn't know that. They took great pride in knowing and interpreting the law, and they didn't realize that what they were doing- this policing of the people- was not what God had called them to do.

Jesus refers to the Pharisees as "white-washed graves", meaning their exterior is clean and well-kept, but on the inside they are, well, messy. They had the appearance of knowing everything there was to know about God (and they probably believed that was actually true), but when confronted with Him face to face, they were so caught up in their own "acts of worship" that they totally missed Him. He didn't fit into their box.

At first, I would be tempted to roll my eyes and wonder how in the world they could be so caught up in themselves that they missed GOD...but then, I pause. How often am I just a white-washed grave? I'm one of those people who likes to appear as though I have it all together- and my biggest fear is being found out. Because, truth be told, I don't. Especially in my walk with the Lord. I battle for motivation to spend time with Him. I'm self-centered and prideful, prone to envy and lacking in self-control. But, when I walk through the doors of a church...when I volunteer my time and services...when I go about my daily life- I do my best to look like I've got it together. And often I achieve my goal... But, in so many ways, I'm a white-washed grave. Same as the Pharisees. Sincerely thinking I have it all figured out- and missing Christ in the process.

Truthfully, in the midst of all my busy serving, worshiping, and worrying... I just don't expect to see Him show up- which is crazy because isn't He the reason for all the serving and worshiping? Just like the Pharisees didn't expect Him to appear, riding on a donkey, hanging out with hookers and robbers- I don't really look for Him in the so-called "worshipful busyness" of my days. As I come to this realization, I am again confronted with my desperate, constant need for His grace. And I am so thankful for His Word- and how a passage I've read again and again can teach me exactly what I need to know for this time in my life.

I don't want to be a white-washed grave. I want to know Him, not just to serve Him for the sake of serving. I want to see Him when He's near me. To recognize His love and mercy, and in that love- go forward and serve others. Because, at the end of the day, that's what the Pharisees missed every time. Love.

Ephesians 3:17-19

Top 5 Ways NOT to Ask A Girl Out... And yes, I'm speaking from experience.

So, I guess I always assumed guys just knew how to ask out girls... like it was an instinctual thing. However, the older I get, the more I realize some guys just don't know how to go about this conversation. I mean, I get it. It's intimidating to ask someone a question you're not really sure of the answer to. (Although, as a side note, if you're doing things correctly... you should feel pretty confident in her answer) It's not exactly an ego boost to be shot down. So, yeah, I get why guys are hesitant to ask out girls-- particularly face to face. However, I will say guys, if you want your success rate to go up, you're going to have to be willing to put yourself out there. It's just the truth. I'm always more likely to say yes if a guy says something like "I want to take you out on a date this weekend.." Girls like to be pursued. We really do. We don't want to pay for our dinner. We don't want to meet you at the restaurant (unless it's a blind date...which is a whole other blog). And we for sure don't want to be asked out via social networking sites... So, in an effort to help out the guys-- and because I'm for sure sick of being asked out like this. Here are the Top 5 Ways NOT to Ask A Girl Out (in no particular order):

• Number One: Facebook. Yeah, this one's happened to me SEVERAL times. Including twice by Facebook CHAT. Seriously, if you have no other means of getting in touch with her, solve that problem before you solve the problem of getting her to go out with you-- because Facebook is really just unacceptable. It's also not really the way you need to get to know a girl either. I mean, the first couple of times you meet a girl, if you want to chat with her or exchange messages- fine. However, if FB is where your "relationship" happens- as in, that is the ONLY way you communicate- news flash: you don't have a relationship.
• Number Two: Text Message. Yep. Had this one too. Again, nothing wrong with texting... However, if that where the majority of your conversation takes place, that's a problem. I mean, you have her phone number. Instead of texting, maybe, um... give her a call. She probably won't bite your head off. And if she does...well, stop calling. But don't take the coward's way out and ask her out by via "do u wanna get dinner l8tr? lol" It's not attractive. Trust me.
• Number Three: Through a friend. i.e... talking to a girl's friend and asking the friend what your chances are of her going out with you. It's awkward for everyone involved. The friend is put in the awkward position of speaking for someone else, you feel awkward because you're putting your business out there, and it's awkward for the girl you want to ask out because her friend WILL tell her you asked (we are GIRLS. It's what we do.), so then she knows that you know that she knows...well, you get the idea. All in all, it's just easier to ask her and allow her to tell you what she thinks of you... cut the middle-man (or woman, ask the case may be).
• Number Four: Not taking "no" for an answer. When a girl tells you no-- it does not mean try harder. It means move on. If you really feel like ya'll are meant for each other, she'll come around (I've seen it happen!). But she won't come around as long as you're hovering. Trust me. And in the meantime, you're spending a lot of time and emotional energy on someone who is very possibly the wrong person. Don't waste your life like that.
• Number Five: The "non-ask out". No one likes to feel vulnerable to hurt. There is no more vulnerable place for a girl to be than that place where the two of you are acting like a couple, but there has been no "Define The Relationship" conversation. If you are already taking her out to dinner, going to parties together, etc... Be a man and just have the "I really like you and want to date you" conversation. Seriously. It's not fair for you to have all the benefits of a girlfriend with none of the commitment. And if you like her enough to take her all over town... you like her enough to ask her out. And if you don't like her enough to ask her out- stop messing with her mind and treating her emotions like gum on the bottom of your shoe. That's just mean.