Character

Surely what a man does when he is taken off his guard is the best evidence for what sort of a man he is? Surely what pops out before the man has time to put on a disguise is the truth? If there are rats in a cellar you are most likely to see them if you go in very suddenly. But the suddenness does not create the rats: it only prevents them from hiding. In the same way the suddenness of the provocation does not make me an ill-tempered man: it only shows me what an ill-tempered man I am.

~C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

A Way Out...

I started a program with our youth group this week called "Read The Bible In 90 Days". The intention behind this idea is to give youth an opportunity to really see the scope, sequence, and themes of the Bible. Now, I've read the whole Bible before-- it's hard to avoid when you go to a Christian university. But it's been a very long time, and there's something different and special about reading it for my own pleasure vs. reading it for a school assignment. Yesterday was just the first day of the program, but immediately I was able to see the theme of the Word: "there's always a way out..." When I read the first 15 chapters of Genesis, I saw God seek out his sinful creation in the Garden of Eden right after they had eaten of the Tree of Knowledge. He prevented them from living forever in their sinful bodies by banishing them from the Garden before they ate of the Tree of Life. He destroyed the sinful earth, but he preserved it through Noah and his sons. He made a covenant that would save all the people of the earth through the line of Abram and Sarai. Often in the past when I have read the first few chapters of Genesis, I have been overwhelmed by all of the information coming at me (which is to be expected when thousands of years of history is told in less than 12 pages). It was hard to see the trees for the forest. But every time I look at the Word, either in parts or as a whole, I am still able to see a gracious God pursuing sinful people. Not just forgiving, pursuing! What an amazing God I serve. One that not only loves me enough to forgive me when I come to Him, He loves me so much He comes to find me.

Luke 15:4-7

What man among you, if he has a hundred sheep and has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open pasture to go after the one which is lost until he finds it?

And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing, and when he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbors, saying to them, "Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost!" I tell you that in the same way, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents , than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.

Foot Washing

I've been thinking about foot washing lately. These days, if you went up to someone and offered to wash their feet they'd probably think you were in school to be a pedicurist and overly eager to practice your new trade. So what does it mean to wash the feet of others when it's socially unacceptable to do this literally? As I read my Bible study this morning, it made the point that Jesus washed the feet of His disciples knowing who he was in the Father (John 13:3-5). Jesus was able to do this act of humility because He was confident in His identity in the Father-- He didn't need accolades or approval from anyone else. He also didn't do it because He saw Himself as lower than those around Him. So my question for myself is, how often do I truly wash the feet of others? How often do I realize that who I am in Christ is enough and behave with Godly humility? I think so many times I serve others because I'm looking for glory, approval, or because I see myself as less than they are. That's not humility. Doing the right thing for the wrong reasons makes it the wrong thing. Thank the Lord that He understands us and our stupid need to be recognized! Thank the Lord He revealed this to me-- and now, hopefully, I can truly and humbly wash the feet of those around me.

I am gentle, and humble in heart. (Matthew 11:29b)

My Biggest Fear...

Okay, so you know in all of those fictional books where it talks about singles groups and the kinds of people in them? There's always a scary, socially awkward, older female character who is "in charge"of the group. Generally she walks around with a clipboard getting people to sign up for things, making sure snacks are provided, and basically coordinating humiliating activities that no one in their right minds would participate in (for example: Coffee and Christian Karaoke Night). That is honestly my biggest fear in life. I'm absolutely terrified of being "the crazy clipboard lady". I mean, seriously, I coordinate all of the events for my singles group and I definitely provide food on Sunday mornings! There's not much separating me from "crazy-singleforareason-clipboard-lady"! I mean, yes, I am younger (not for long), and yes, I have better style (thanks to InStyle Magazine), but what if all of that changes?? Please, as my friends, if you start to see my fears being realized-- do the kind thing and take away the clipboard.

Compromise

Compromise. We all do it. There are so many situations every day that require us to compromise in one way or another. But what about the times you are tempted to compromise on your morals? What about those times when God’s timeline is different from the timeline you’ve set for yourself? Compromise is a natural part of life, and each life circumstance presents its own specific types of compromise. As a single person, the one area I see the most compromise in is relationships. I’m certainly not immune to the temptation, and have certainly had more times than I should in my life where I’ve given in. So I know firsthand the pain of choosing to compromise and realizing I’ve made the wrong decision. However, right now I have to be honest-- it’s really hard not to give in when I watch those around me compromise and seem to find happiness in their decisions.

For example, a friend of mine made the decision to enter into a relationship where she knew her choices were sinful and the guy was not someone who shared her beliefs or morals. I watch this person, that I know is doing the wrong things (and she knows it too), as she is blissfully happy in her choices right now. Mentally, I know that she made the decision to walk away from God’s best and one day she will feel the weight of her decision. However, the emotional part of me hurts because as I try so desperately hard to live a life without compromise, a friend chooses to compromise and is thrilled with her outcome. To be totally honest, I felt cheated. It hurts to know how hard I’m working to do the right thing, and see others get ahead by doing the wrong thing…

I find myself fighting between what I know and how I feel—and right now how I feel is usually winning. However, it is becoming increasingly clear to me that how I feel is being completely controlled by Satan. Of course he wants me frustrated, distracted, and angry. How can I serve God and feel this way? I can’t. That’s the point.

As I realize this, I’m learning more about myself and how I view myself in God’s eyes. Am I doing the right thing to live a life pleasing to my Savior, or am I doing the right things to get an earthly reward? It’s so easy in this world to see things with earthly eyes—to stay focused on what I get here, and to forget that my focus should be eternal. Yes, I see people compromising and happy, but I also know that those are houses built on sinking sand. Hopefully, I can remember that as I am daily tempted to compromise…

God has been teaching me two specific things during this time of growth… First, if my emotions are at war with what I know, I have to be able to continually combat how I feel with the truth of Scripture. It’s challenged me to memorize more Scripture so that I can quickly combat Satan’s lies with the truth of God’s promises. Secondly, although I can’t change my situation, I can still choose joy. I’m still in my same circumstances—single, stressed, and often overwhelmed by life. However, joy is not a result of where I am. Joy is a result of who I trust, and the hope that I find in remembering His promises to me daily. No matter how difficult life is, there is eternity to look forward to and that alone should give me cause to live joyfully…

For those of you who are tempted to compromise in relationships like I am, stay strong. Remember to run as hard and fast as you can towards our Father… One day, you will look next to you and find a partner who will run along side of you. Don’t be tempted to grab the hand of someone behind you and pull them along. Wait for a true partner… Strive to live a life focused on eternity without compromise…

Phil. 3:3-14

New Favorite Quote

One of many favorites... This is from CS Lewis' book The Weight of Glory:

The New Testament has lots to say about self-denial, but not about self-denial as an end in itself. We are told to deny ourselves and to take up our crosses in order that we may follow Christ; and nearly every description of what we shall ultimately find if we do so contains an appeal to desire. If there lurks in most modern minds the notion that to desire our own good and earnestly to hope for the enjoyment of it is a bad thing, I submit that this notion has crept in from Kant and the Stoics and is no part of the Christian faith. Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.

Giving Thanks...

I have to say that the some of the best things that have ever happened to me are my friends. The Lord has truly blessed me with friends who love me for me, pray for me, challenge me, and motivate me to be the best person I can be. I know that not everyone has the chance to have relationships like I do, and I know that the Lord has called me to hold these people with open hands. But I love them dearly and thank the Lord for the chance to "do life" with these people.