Choosing What is Better

So after listening to approximately five sermons on Mary and Martha over the past year, all by different pastors, I figured God may be trying to tell me something. After much thought and reflection, here is what I learned from Martha and Mary...
In Luke 10:38-41, Jesus and his disciples go to visit the home of siblings Martha, Lazarus, and Mary. Martha, being the homeowner and hostess, immediately busies herself with all of the preparations a party and big meal require. Mary, meanwhile, is found sitting at the feet of Jesus. Martha is, of course, annoyed by this because she's over here slaving away and her sister is just sitting there making googly eyes at the rabbi! So, she walks up to Jesus and lets her frustration be known. "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do all the work? Tell her to help me!" In the past, I always read Jesus' response as "Martha, Martha (deep sigh of disappointment) you are over-busy, you have a bad attitude, and you should learn a little something from Mary's Godly example". I need to pause here for just a moment and tell you that Jesus' response always kind of annoyed me. I mean, Martha is doing what needs to be done! Reality is that if Martha wasn't working to get everything prepared, everyone would be hungry, frustrated, and blaming her poor organizational skills. So Martha lets it be known that she could use a little help and Jesus makes her feel bad about it! Okay, so maybe that's not exactly how it all went down, but that's the way I have always read it before.
Confession time. The reason I have always been annoyed by Jesus' response is because I really, really have a lot in common with Martha. I mean, I think we may be related. And I don't think there's anything wrong with being a doer like Martha! I mean, someone's got to take care of the details, right?
But after many, many, many sermons on this passage, I realized that maybe God wanted me to take a closer look (what can I say? I'm a little stubborn sometimes...). So here are two main things I realized about Martha (and myself).
First- Martha really just needed some affirmation that what she was doing was valuable. Clayton King of NewSpring Church pointed this out in a message I listened to today, and it really impacted me. The first thing Martha says to Jesus is "Lord, don't you care...?" After reading that, I realized that generally, that's what I say to Jesus when stressed, overwhelmed, and tired. "Hello up there? Don't you see I'm drowning here?!" Martha (like all women), just needed someone to acknowledge what she was going through. Jesus' response of "Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset by many things" is so true. Because in a woman's mind, if one thing's wrong it will set off an emotional chain-reaction. Women can get from "Man, I'm tired" to "NOBODY LOVES ME!" in about 5 seconds. And that was where Martha was. She was tired, overwhelmed, and upset that her sister wasn't helping (and probably jealous that Mary was doing what she wanted to do too). But from that seed of frustration she took an emotional journey to "Don't you CARE?!". Jesus' response of "Martha, Martha" was actually showing a great amount of care. In those times, to say someone's name twice was to show deep love and concern. Matthew Henry says in his commentary on this that to say her name twice was to "speak as one in earnest and deeply concerned for her welfare". Wow! He really does care-- even though we so often get upset about things that really aren't going to decide the fate of the universe. Jesus wasn't putting down Martha's hard work or her frustration about the situation, he was gently and lovingly pointing out that although dinner is important, there are so many other things that matter-- and her emotional outburst wasn't going to manipulate Him to rebuke Mary's decision to sit at His feet.
Which leads me to the second thing I realized... Maybe part of why Martha was admonished is because she was focusing on the wrong person. As a teacher, when I talk to a student about a behavior issue, many times the student's response is "But look at Johnny! What about him?!". Siblings often do that to each other too. I remember so many times when I was focused on what my brother was or was not doing, or on what he was or was not getting. The truth of the matter is that Jesus wants us to do what our parents always told us to do "take care of yourself-- let me worry about them". Even still, particularly in ministry, I allow Satan to rob my joy for serving others by redirecting my attention to the person who is not only not helping me, she is also getting all of the attention. Suddenly, I want a little attention too. A little "nice work Evie, we couldn't survive without you!". But Mary really did get it right-- because what she was doing was all about Jesus. Martha could have just as easily gotten it right too- not by stopping what she was doing and sitting at the feet of the rabbi, but by simply resting in what Jesus thinks about her ("Martha, Martha...") and continuing her work with a heart of a servant who has confidence in her rabbi's love for her (Jn. 11:5), instead of focusing on what her sister wasn't doing.
As I reflect on this passage, it feels like it was the theme of my year. I can almost hear the Father saying to me "Evangeline, Evangeline...". I have doubted, questioned, and argued. Dealt with inadequacy, fear, and insecurity. It's been possibly the biggest year-long spiritual battle I've ever been through-- and I have repeatedly questioned if He cared, or even if He was there at all. All along He has been whispering to me "Evangeline, Evangeline...". As I look forward to the upcoming year, it is my prayer that I can hold on to this lesson. There is really only one thing that is needed-- and I already have Him.
May we all choose what is better in 2010.

Do you like me? Check Yes or No.

Note passed from one student to another in my class, intercepted by me:

I like you Amy I am just ask if you least one to be my girl friend this is coming from the heart I like you Amy this song is dedacatid to you look in to my eyes and try to feel my pain do you no how it feels in the rain each and someone is judging me and were I live and how I live on the streets.

** FYI: the student who he passed the note to was not named Amy-- apparently he didn't know her name... Not sure where the last couple of lines came from or what they had to do with her being his girlfriend, but apparently he thought it was important information.

Second attempt at note passed from student to same girl-- again intercepted by me:
I like you Amy will you be my girlfriend and I love you plus I will do your homework for you I love you so much you don't even know it I love I hope you Amy say is love you are hot so hot that I want to kiss you I just love you will like that because I love you have day.


**All spelling errors were corrected by me.. Trust me, this girl doesn't want him doing her homework, at least not his spelling homework!

Character

Surely what a man does when he is taken off his guard is the best evidence for what sort of a man he is? Surely what pops out before the man has time to put on a disguise is the truth? If there are rats in a cellar you are most likely to see them if you go in very suddenly. But the suddenness does not create the rats: it only prevents them from hiding. In the same way the suddenness of the provocation does not make me an ill-tempered man: it only shows me what an ill-tempered man I am.

~C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

A Way Out...

I started a program with our youth group this week called "Read The Bible In 90 Days". The intention behind this idea is to give youth an opportunity to really see the scope, sequence, and themes of the Bible. Now, I've read the whole Bible before-- it's hard to avoid when you go to a Christian university. But it's been a very long time, and there's something different and special about reading it for my own pleasure vs. reading it for a school assignment. Yesterday was just the first day of the program, but immediately I was able to see the theme of the Word: "there's always a way out..." When I read the first 15 chapters of Genesis, I saw God seek out his sinful creation in the Garden of Eden right after they had eaten of the Tree of Knowledge. He prevented them from living forever in their sinful bodies by banishing them from the Garden before they ate of the Tree of Life. He destroyed the sinful earth, but he preserved it through Noah and his sons. He made a covenant that would save all the people of the earth through the line of Abram and Sarai. Often in the past when I have read the first few chapters of Genesis, I have been overwhelmed by all of the information coming at me (which is to be expected when thousands of years of history is told in less than 12 pages). It was hard to see the trees for the forest. But every time I look at the Word, either in parts or as a whole, I am still able to see a gracious God pursuing sinful people. Not just forgiving, pursuing! What an amazing God I serve. One that not only loves me enough to forgive me when I come to Him, He loves me so much He comes to find me.

Luke 15:4-7

What man among you, if he has a hundred sheep and has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open pasture to go after the one which is lost until he finds it?

And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing, and when he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbors, saying to them, "Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost!" I tell you that in the same way, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents , than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.

Foot Washing

I've been thinking about foot washing lately. These days, if you went up to someone and offered to wash their feet they'd probably think you were in school to be a pedicurist and overly eager to practice your new trade. So what does it mean to wash the feet of others when it's socially unacceptable to do this literally? As I read my Bible study this morning, it made the point that Jesus washed the feet of His disciples knowing who he was in the Father (John 13:3-5). Jesus was able to do this act of humility because He was confident in His identity in the Father-- He didn't need accolades or approval from anyone else. He also didn't do it because He saw Himself as lower than those around Him. So my question for myself is, how often do I truly wash the feet of others? How often do I realize that who I am in Christ is enough and behave with Godly humility? I think so many times I serve others because I'm looking for glory, approval, or because I see myself as less than they are. That's not humility. Doing the right thing for the wrong reasons makes it the wrong thing. Thank the Lord that He understands us and our stupid need to be recognized! Thank the Lord He revealed this to me-- and now, hopefully, I can truly and humbly wash the feet of those around me.

I am gentle, and humble in heart. (Matthew 11:29b)

My Biggest Fear...

Okay, so you know in all of those fictional books where it talks about singles groups and the kinds of people in them? There's always a scary, socially awkward, older female character who is "in charge"of the group. Generally she walks around with a clipboard getting people to sign up for things, making sure snacks are provided, and basically coordinating humiliating activities that no one in their right minds would participate in (for example: Coffee and Christian Karaoke Night). That is honestly my biggest fear in life. I'm absolutely terrified of being "the crazy clipboard lady". I mean, seriously, I coordinate all of the events for my singles group and I definitely provide food on Sunday mornings! There's not much separating me from "crazy-singleforareason-clipboard-lady"! I mean, yes, I am younger (not for long), and yes, I have better style (thanks to InStyle Magazine), but what if all of that changes?? Please, as my friends, if you start to see my fears being realized-- do the kind thing and take away the clipboard.

Compromise

Compromise. We all do it. There are so many situations every day that require us to compromise in one way or another. But what about the times you are tempted to compromise on your morals? What about those times when God’s timeline is different from the timeline you’ve set for yourself? Compromise is a natural part of life, and each life circumstance presents its own specific types of compromise. As a single person, the one area I see the most compromise in is relationships. I’m certainly not immune to the temptation, and have certainly had more times than I should in my life where I’ve given in. So I know firsthand the pain of choosing to compromise and realizing I’ve made the wrong decision. However, right now I have to be honest-- it’s really hard not to give in when I watch those around me compromise and seem to find happiness in their decisions.

For example, a friend of mine made the decision to enter into a relationship where she knew her choices were sinful and the guy was not someone who shared her beliefs or morals. I watch this person, that I know is doing the wrong things (and she knows it too), as she is blissfully happy in her choices right now. Mentally, I know that she made the decision to walk away from God’s best and one day she will feel the weight of her decision. However, the emotional part of me hurts because as I try so desperately hard to live a life without compromise, a friend chooses to compromise and is thrilled with her outcome. To be totally honest, I felt cheated. It hurts to know how hard I’m working to do the right thing, and see others get ahead by doing the wrong thing…

I find myself fighting between what I know and how I feel—and right now how I feel is usually winning. However, it is becoming increasingly clear to me that how I feel is being completely controlled by Satan. Of course he wants me frustrated, distracted, and angry. How can I serve God and feel this way? I can’t. That’s the point.

As I realize this, I’m learning more about myself and how I view myself in God’s eyes. Am I doing the right thing to live a life pleasing to my Savior, or am I doing the right things to get an earthly reward? It’s so easy in this world to see things with earthly eyes—to stay focused on what I get here, and to forget that my focus should be eternal. Yes, I see people compromising and happy, but I also know that those are houses built on sinking sand. Hopefully, I can remember that as I am daily tempted to compromise…

God has been teaching me two specific things during this time of growth… First, if my emotions are at war with what I know, I have to be able to continually combat how I feel with the truth of Scripture. It’s challenged me to memorize more Scripture so that I can quickly combat Satan’s lies with the truth of God’s promises. Secondly, although I can’t change my situation, I can still choose joy. I’m still in my same circumstances—single, stressed, and often overwhelmed by life. However, joy is not a result of where I am. Joy is a result of who I trust, and the hope that I find in remembering His promises to me daily. No matter how difficult life is, there is eternity to look forward to and that alone should give me cause to live joyfully…

For those of you who are tempted to compromise in relationships like I am, stay strong. Remember to run as hard and fast as you can towards our Father… One day, you will look next to you and find a partner who will run along side of you. Don’t be tempted to grab the hand of someone behind you and pull them along. Wait for a true partner… Strive to live a life focused on eternity without compromise…

Phil. 3:3-14