What does it mean for me to be a part of the family of Christ? Does it affect how I interact with others; how I treat them, how I listen to them, how I love them? These are questions that I have been working through over the past week as I watch people interact in the singles ministry I am involved in. Let's go ahead and state the obvious-- single people don't generally look at people of the opposite gender as "brothers or sisters". It's hard to find that balance between how God has called us to treat one another, and yet also look for someone who can be a true partner in our walks with the Lord. However, although it is hard, it is by no means impossible. I think so much of our "social drama" would be spared if we just treated each other with the same love, care, respect, and value that we should treat our biological family members. How should that look in a singles ministry? Well, for starters, it means we have to be willing to get over things. Just like in our true families, we have to let go and remember that we are family and we're stuck with each other! Letting go of past hurts, disappointments, and frustrations is an integral part of fellowship with other believers; and yet it is possibly the biggest breaking point in most churches and relationships among believers.
Boys, I'm gonna talk to you for a second... Stick with me! The girls will hear it too! Whenever you are interacting with (or looking at) a sister in Christ, are you being purposeful about considering her your sister? Think about the most important, valuable female in your life... Are you looking at and speaking to the girls around you with the same respect and care you would give that valuable female? If the answer is no, I encourage you to look at each woman you meet with the eyes of her Heavenly Father. To speak to each woman you meet with the respect and care you would give to your own mother or sister. Remember that, for many women, you are the example of a Godly man in their lives. So many girls are not lucky enough to have men in their lives who are godly or even safe. It is your responsibility to show them what a Godly man looks like and sounds like. Even in the times when those women disappoint you, reject you, or ignore you.
Okay girls, the boys had to hear it, so now here you go (I'm speaking to myself as well)! Ladies, think about the kind of girl you would like to see with your brother (or a deeply valued male in your life). Here's my question: are you that girl? Think about what she would look like, the things she would say, the places she would go... Often times I realize how much I fail to remember that I am a daughter of a King and I need to act like it! I also somewhere along the way realized that even though boys are often confusing and, well, sometimes inconsiderate, I needed to be patient with them and show them the grace that has been so lovingly and measurelessly poured upon me. It also means that I need to remember that sometimes things that I don't think matter that much (i.e. modesty) mean a lot in the Christian Walk of our brothers. As we interact with our brothers in the future, I hope that we each remember that we are the representation of Christian women in their lives. It is an important and holy task.
A final word: When Jesus was in the Garden of Gethsemane right before He died for us, He did not pray for his death to be painless, or for His own comforts. He prayed for us. Each of you. He asked for us to be unified-- One. As He and the Father are One... What can each of us do to work towards that unity that Jesus so desperately pled for? Can we treat each other differently knowing that as brothers and sisters, we are called to be one? It is my prayer that as we grow closer to the One who made us, we will grow as One in the fellowship of the church.
