Whitewashed Graves

So, I'm reading through Matthew right now (pathetically, I made the plan to read through the entire New Testament at the beginning of the year, and I am currently about to finish Matthew...), and I've been struck by Jesus' attitude towards the Pharisees. If Jesus is the hero of the story (and He is), than the Pharisees are the evil characters. In fact, my pastor said just this past Sunday that anytime the NT says "and then the Pharisees said...", it should always be followed by an ominous "Dun-dun-DUHHH...." Jesus generally had some very harsh things to say to them. This was particularly the case in Matthew 23, where He really let them have it. As I read it, though, it struck me that the Pharisees most likely sincerely thought their way was the right way. Now, they were sincerely wrong, but they didn't know that. They took great pride in knowing and interpreting the law, and they didn't realize that what they were doing- this policing of the people- was not what God had called them to do.

Jesus refers to the Pharisees as "white-washed graves", meaning their exterior is clean and well-kept, but on the inside they are, well, messy. They had the appearance of knowing everything there was to know about God (and they probably believed that was actually true), but when confronted with Him face to face, they were so caught up in their own "acts of worship" that they totally missed Him. He didn't fit into their box.

At first, I would be tempted to roll my eyes and wonder how in the world they could be so caught up in themselves that they missed GOD...but then, I pause. How often am I just a white-washed grave? I'm one of those people who likes to appear as though I have it all together- and my biggest fear is being found out. Because, truth be told, I don't. Especially in my walk with the Lord. I battle for motivation to spend time with Him. I'm self-centered and prideful, prone to envy and lacking in self-control. But, when I walk through the doors of a church...when I volunteer my time and services...when I go about my daily life- I do my best to look like I've got it together. And often I achieve my goal... But, in so many ways, I'm a white-washed grave. Same as the Pharisees. Sincerely thinking I have it all figured out- and missing Christ in the process.

Truthfully, in the midst of all my busy serving, worshiping, and worrying... I just don't expect to see Him show up- which is crazy because isn't He the reason for all the serving and worshiping? Just like the Pharisees didn't expect Him to appear, riding on a donkey, hanging out with hookers and robbers- I don't really look for Him in the so-called "worshipful busyness" of my days. As I come to this realization, I am again confronted with my desperate, constant need for His grace. And I am so thankful for His Word- and how a passage I've read again and again can teach me exactly what I need to know for this time in my life.

I don't want to be a white-washed grave. I want to know Him, not just to serve Him for the sake of serving. I want to see Him when He's near me. To recognize His love and mercy, and in that love- go forward and serve others. Because, at the end of the day, that's what the Pharisees missed every time. Love.

Ephesians 3:17-19

Top 5 Ways NOT to Ask A Girl Out... And yes, I'm speaking from experience.

So, I guess I always assumed guys just knew how to ask out girls... like it was an instinctual thing. However, the older I get, the more I realize some guys just don't know how to go about this conversation. I mean, I get it. It's intimidating to ask someone a question you're not really sure of the answer to. (Although, as a side note, if you're doing things correctly... you should feel pretty confident in her answer) It's not exactly an ego boost to be shot down. So, yeah, I get why guys are hesitant to ask out girls-- particularly face to face. However, I will say guys, if you want your success rate to go up, you're going to have to be willing to put yourself out there. It's just the truth. I'm always more likely to say yes if a guy says something like "I want to take you out on a date this weekend.." Girls like to be pursued. We really do. We don't want to pay for our dinner. We don't want to meet you at the restaurant (unless it's a blind date...which is a whole other blog). And we for sure don't want to be asked out via social networking sites... So, in an effort to help out the guys-- and because I'm for sure sick of being asked out like this. Here are the Top 5 Ways NOT to Ask A Girl Out (in no particular order):

• Number One: Facebook. Yeah, this one's happened to me SEVERAL times. Including twice by Facebook CHAT. Seriously, if you have no other means of getting in touch with her, solve that problem before you solve the problem of getting her to go out with you-- because Facebook is really just unacceptable. It's also not really the way you need to get to know a girl either. I mean, the first couple of times you meet a girl, if you want to chat with her or exchange messages- fine. However, if FB is where your "relationship" happens- as in, that is the ONLY way you communicate- news flash: you don't have a relationship.
• Number Two: Text Message. Yep. Had this one too. Again, nothing wrong with texting... However, if that where the majority of your conversation takes place, that's a problem. I mean, you have her phone number. Instead of texting, maybe, um... give her a call. She probably won't bite your head off. And if she does...well, stop calling. But don't take the coward's way out and ask her out by via "do u wanna get dinner l8tr? lol" It's not attractive. Trust me.
• Number Three: Through a friend. i.e... talking to a girl's friend and asking the friend what your chances are of her going out with you. It's awkward for everyone involved. The friend is put in the awkward position of speaking for someone else, you feel awkward because you're putting your business out there, and it's awkward for the girl you want to ask out because her friend WILL tell her you asked (we are GIRLS. It's what we do.), so then she knows that you know that she knows...well, you get the idea. All in all, it's just easier to ask her and allow her to tell you what she thinks of you... cut the middle-man (or woman, ask the case may be).
• Number Four: Not taking "no" for an answer. When a girl tells you no-- it does not mean try harder. It means move on. If you really feel like ya'll are meant for each other, she'll come around (I've seen it happen!). But she won't come around as long as you're hovering. Trust me. And in the meantime, you're spending a lot of time and emotional energy on someone who is very possibly the wrong person. Don't waste your life like that.
• Number Five: The "non-ask out". No one likes to feel vulnerable to hurt. There is no more vulnerable place for a girl to be than that place where the two of you are acting like a couple, but there has been no "Define The Relationship" conversation. If you are already taking her out to dinner, going to parties together, etc... Be a man and just have the "I really like you and want to date you" conversation. Seriously. It's not fair for you to have all the benefits of a girlfriend with none of the commitment. And if you like her enough to take her all over town... you like her enough to ask her out. And if you don't like her enough to ask her out- stop messing with her mind and treating her emotions like gum on the bottom of your shoe. That's just mean.