Choosing What is Better

So after listening to approximately five sermons on Mary and Martha over the past year, all by different pastors, I figured God may be trying to tell me something. After much thought and reflection, here is what I learned from Martha and Mary...
In Luke 10:38-41, Jesus and his disciples go to visit the home of siblings Martha, Lazarus, and Mary. Martha, being the homeowner and hostess, immediately busies herself with all of the preparations a party and big meal require. Mary, meanwhile, is found sitting at the feet of Jesus. Martha is, of course, annoyed by this because she's over here slaving away and her sister is just sitting there making googly eyes at the rabbi! So, she walks up to Jesus and lets her frustration be known. "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do all the work? Tell her to help me!" In the past, I always read Jesus' response as "Martha, Martha (deep sigh of disappointment) you are over-busy, you have a bad attitude, and you should learn a little something from Mary's Godly example". I need to pause here for just a moment and tell you that Jesus' response always kind of annoyed me. I mean, Martha is doing what needs to be done! Reality is that if Martha wasn't working to get everything prepared, everyone would be hungry, frustrated, and blaming her poor organizational skills. So Martha lets it be known that she could use a little help and Jesus makes her feel bad about it! Okay, so maybe that's not exactly how it all went down, but that's the way I have always read it before.
Confession time. The reason I have always been annoyed by Jesus' response is because I really, really have a lot in common with Martha. I mean, I think we may be related. And I don't think there's anything wrong with being a doer like Martha! I mean, someone's got to take care of the details, right?
But after many, many, many sermons on this passage, I realized that maybe God wanted me to take a closer look (what can I say? I'm a little stubborn sometimes...). So here are two main things I realized about Martha (and myself).
First- Martha really just needed some affirmation that what she was doing was valuable. Clayton King of NewSpring Church pointed this out in a message I listened to today, and it really impacted me. The first thing Martha says to Jesus is "Lord, don't you care...?" After reading that, I realized that generally, that's what I say to Jesus when stressed, overwhelmed, and tired. "Hello up there? Don't you see I'm drowning here?!" Martha (like all women), just needed someone to acknowledge what she was going through. Jesus' response of "Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset by many things" is so true. Because in a woman's mind, if one thing's wrong it will set off an emotional chain-reaction. Women can get from "Man, I'm tired" to "NOBODY LOVES ME!" in about 5 seconds. And that was where Martha was. She was tired, overwhelmed, and upset that her sister wasn't helping (and probably jealous that Mary was doing what she wanted to do too). But from that seed of frustration she took an emotional journey to "Don't you CARE?!". Jesus' response of "Martha, Martha" was actually showing a great amount of care. In those times, to say someone's name twice was to show deep love and concern. Matthew Henry says in his commentary on this that to say her name twice was to "speak as one in earnest and deeply concerned for her welfare". Wow! He really does care-- even though we so often get upset about things that really aren't going to decide the fate of the universe. Jesus wasn't putting down Martha's hard work or her frustration about the situation, he was gently and lovingly pointing out that although dinner is important, there are so many other things that matter-- and her emotional outburst wasn't going to manipulate Him to rebuke Mary's decision to sit at His feet.
Which leads me to the second thing I realized... Maybe part of why Martha was admonished is because she was focusing on the wrong person. As a teacher, when I talk to a student about a behavior issue, many times the student's response is "But look at Johnny! What about him?!". Siblings often do that to each other too. I remember so many times when I was focused on what my brother was or was not doing, or on what he was or was not getting. The truth of the matter is that Jesus wants us to do what our parents always told us to do "take care of yourself-- let me worry about them". Even still, particularly in ministry, I allow Satan to rob my joy for serving others by redirecting my attention to the person who is not only not helping me, she is also getting all of the attention. Suddenly, I want a little attention too. A little "nice work Evie, we couldn't survive without you!". But Mary really did get it right-- because what she was doing was all about Jesus. Martha could have just as easily gotten it right too- not by stopping what she was doing and sitting at the feet of the rabbi, but by simply resting in what Jesus thinks about her ("Martha, Martha...") and continuing her work with a heart of a servant who has confidence in her rabbi's love for her (Jn. 11:5), instead of focusing on what her sister wasn't doing.
As I reflect on this passage, it feels like it was the theme of my year. I can almost hear the Father saying to me "Evangeline, Evangeline...". I have doubted, questioned, and argued. Dealt with inadequacy, fear, and insecurity. It's been possibly the biggest year-long spiritual battle I've ever been through-- and I have repeatedly questioned if He cared, or even if He was there at all. All along He has been whispering to me "Evangeline, Evangeline...". As I look forward to the upcoming year, it is my prayer that I can hold on to this lesson. There is really only one thing that is needed-- and I already have Him.
May we all choose what is better in 2010.